A Role Model for Hope

Hope has had a bit of the blues this week. She’s texted me just about everyday and this morning “made an appointment” to talk to me this afternoon.

She’s kind of keeping up with schoolwork and she seems to be settling into a nice routine. Medication management continues to be an issue for her, and it looks like I’m going to have to go back to holding the scripts, getting them filled and mailing them to her.

She finally came clean and told me she had been off of one of her meds for nearly a month. We had to revisit an important confab about taking meds daily and the academic and emotional consequences of not taking them.

“Ohh, yeah, that makes sense. You’re right. “

I’m really getting better at keeping my screaming and yelling on the inside and keeping my nice, supportive Mom voice together when talking to Hope. I gotta admit that it’s hard when you have to revisit the same issues over and over and over and over again.

I’m like, how did you forget that when I have left notes, emails, snail mail, texts phone calls and various other kinds of reminders. Do I really need to hire a skywriter to remind you to pop those 3 pills every morning and the other one in the afternoon?

Apparently.

Knowing she needed a bit of a pick me up, I told her the story of a student who called me earlier this week and shared a huge recent accomplishment with me.

I med A nearly 5 years ago when I launched a podcast at work. He was one of my production interns. He was such a great person to work with and had great ideas for the show that I still sometimes look at for inspiration years later.

After about a year and a half, A stepped down from the position. I never found anyone to replace him, but we kept in touch, even managing having lunch one day when I was in town.

Much like Hope, A’s journey was a bit rocky (don’t worry A, I’m not going to tell all your business!). I quietly fretted that he might give up or that he would change course away from a long held career dream.

I have worked with literally thousands of students over the years. I call the one’s I really develop personal relationships with my Pocket students. I keep them on speed dial or check in on them on social media. They all have my cell number and call to talk about all kinds of things. I’ve been to weddings, funerals, baby showers and other celebratory events.

There are those times when they call me to tell me the best news; A did that this week. As he told me about his latest achievement; I sat in my office basking in a rush of emotions.

I was so incredibly happy and proud of him and how far he has come. I reflected on previous chats and email exchanges and those times I peeped around to anonymously see how he was doing (yes A, I know all!). The last few months I’ve been distracted and hadn’t check in on him so when he reached out to chat, I was delighted.

I had two thoughts.

First, this young fellow is going to do great things because he stayed on the grind, didn’t give up and reached this particular goal.

Second, this is the kind of person I want Hope to look up to. It’s people like A that give others hope and serve as an inspiration and role model.

So, during our downtrodden call today, I told Hope about this guy I have known for a few years who has experienced some similar struggles and how he persevered.

She “uh huh’d” me politely, and then asked some questions. After a couple of back and forths she said, “That’s cool” which every parent knows is high praise.

I tell Hope about a lot of my pocket students, and it’s cool know that she’s getting close to the age when I usually meet them for the first time. I’m starting to see her through that lens as she figures out what she wants to study, what kind of work she wants to do and how she will define herself as a young adult.

It’s such a different view of her than being my daughter; it’s envisioning her as an adult, completely separate from me but still connected. It’s cool and weird and exciting and hopeful.

I know that Hope finds A’s story as a good model. I think it will sooth some anxieties she has about what can happen even if she continues to struggle at school. With support and hard work, she can still achieve the goals she sets for herself.

So this post is dedicated to A, the goal he has achieved and how he is role model for my precious kiddo and no doubt many others..

A, I am so ridiculously proud of you and all that you’ve gone through and done to get to the fantastic news you shared with me this week. It will be one of my career highlights. Sometimes you don’t get to see how things turn out for someone or you see it at a distance. Thank you for personally sharing this with me and thank you for being the awesome person you are! Know that your impact extends way, way beyond your immediate circle! You are making waves, and I’m honored to watch on the sidelines!

Hope and I are so very proud of you!

About AdoptiveBlackMom

I'm a single Black professional woman living in the DC area. I adopted a tween daughter five years ago, and this blog chronicles our journey. Feel free to contact me at adoptiveblackmom@gmail.com, on Facebook at Adoptive Black Mom, and on Twitter @adoptiveblkmom. ©www.AdoptiveBlackMom.com, 2013-2020. All rights reserved. (Don't copy my ish without credit!) View all posts by AdoptiveBlackMom

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