I fly out to see Hope in 5 days. Seems like forever.
This week I’m traveling for work and cramming in dissertation interviews so that I can keep this project moving. It has been exhausting. I’ve conducted 4 interviews this week and I’ve got another 6 before I leave to see Hope. Lots of prep work, note taking and synopsis writing…late nights writing and early morning writing. Actually, this dissertation thing sucks. It really is a means to an end. I enjoyed most of the coursework, as much as anyone enjoys the rigid discipline that is required to slug two-plus years of course work while working full time. I made lifelong friends and colleagues and learned a lot both about my area of focus and myself. I love my dissertation topic, but honestly, I cannot be more over this stupid exercise of demonstrating my capacity to do research. I just need to get it done. Onward and upward.
Meanwhile, Hope got the photo book that I sent her and apparently loved it. She is so excited about her new life with me, that she showed the book to her friends at school. Wow! I am blown away and delighted that she is so excited! I have no idea how a kid goes to school and says, “Look at the book some chick who wants to be my mom sent me about what my life might be like if I go to live with her.” Is that even how the conversation goes? How does a pre-teen even go about telling her schoolmates that she’s waiting for a forever home? I have a hard time trying to figure out how I might have shared that with my friends back in the day. My Hope is a brave girl.
She did raise the issue of timing…”So, my friend asked if I was going to go back with you after next week?” It wasn’t an anxious inquiry, more like how long do I have to wait and what kind of timeline do I have to say goodbye. We all need time to get our lives in order right? I know I do.
She continues to give me peeks into her life and just when I think my heart can’t melt more, I find yet another smushy spot. So, she likes two different boys in her class, just a little puppy love crush. I love that she told me and actually didn’t seem to freak out when I asked questions about her crush. I hope that she will continue to share those things with me. I hope I can continue to earn her trust.
I’m still working on ideas for her room and pulling things together for her look book. A dear colleague I had some quality time with during this week’s travels inspired me to include a pet fish in the book. Hope has asked if maybe one day she could have a dog of her own, but I can only have one furry beast at a time, so a fish has emerged as a new option. Dr. Beach has the coolest fish!! She’s taught him to do tricks!!!! I had no idea that fish could be taught to do tricks! I’m starting to build a registry for Hope’s arrival and the R2 Fish School Fish Training Kit is so going on that registry!
So, it’s just a matter of days before I come face to face with my beautiful Hope. I have so much to do to get ready, but I know the minute I see her that first time, nothing else will matter.