One week from today my daughter, Hope, will get off of a plane, hop into my car and walk into what is now our home for the very first time.
I am so emotional.
So excited! Like 5 year old on Christmas morning excited.
So stressed. There are still elements of the room that we’ve previously discussed that I like to have in place before she gets here. I also still need to finish purging the closet in her room. Gosh I’m going to miss that extra storage.
A little scared. This is a rubber hits the road moment. It’s real now. It’s really real! Everything I’ve learned about parenting children experiencing trauma, grief and loss is about to be tested.
I’m wondering what time I’ll have to breathe during the upcoming weeks. Is my personal battery really charged up? I’m wondering will I have time to ponder the next phase of writing for my dissertation.
I’m wondering what will happen with my extended family. I know they’ll be great, but I just need so much patience, support and encouragement right now. I feel a bit like a bottomless pit of need right now.
Did I mention I’m so excited! My daughter is coming!
I’m looking forward to seeing her come off the plane. I can’t wait to see her face when we drive up and she sees the condo building for the first time. I can’t wait to see her face when we open our front door. I pray that The Furry One is snoozing in the living room so he can hear us come in (he’s nearly deaf). I can’t wait to see her face when The Furry One comes over to greet her, sniff her clothes then scurries into her lap. I can’t wait to see her go into her room for the very first time. I can’t wait to hear what she says, watch her inspect the details. I can’t wait to order our first pizza in our home, click through Netflx to pick a movie to watch on our TV in our living room. I’m looking forward to visiting our church for the first time. I’m geeked about playing our Wii with her and getting our competition on!
One week from now the next phase of this journey will start.
A year ago I was attending an adoption expo, visiting booths, trying to choose an agency that would assist me in creating my family. A year later I’m prepping for my daughter’s arrival.
I put a number of things on my vision board in 2012 for 2013. Most of them have come to fruition. By far Hope’s—looking much like the picture of a young, beautiful brown girl I clipped from an image gallery and included on my board—arrival slays every other amazing thing that happened this year.
Just one week and she’s here!