Birthday Anxiety

I’m teetering on the brink of my own meltdown. For several weeks, I’ve planned throwing Hope an intimate bowling party with a few of her friends. The bowling alley has a cool deal for unlimited pizza and bowling for $20 a head. Awesome.

I printed up five cute, but “sophisticated teen” invites, cause you know, we’re going to be 13 and all. Gave them to her, asked folks to RSVP by tonight so that I had time to call in the morning and reserve the lane. I hope to swing by the supermarket in the morning for a small cake and then party all night long like Lionel Richie.

Ok, until like 4pm because its date night, and I need to get cute by 6:30pm.

But this morning Hope said she’d only given one invitation away, and she hadn’t confirmed she was coming.

Say what now? How will there be a cute, little birthday celebration with tons of giggling gutter balls if you only gave away one invitation and this joint is tomorrow?

And so ABM is reminded of the mean girls at school who tease her about being adopted (I’m going to jack those little chickadees in the local Wet Seal one of these days; mark my words! #ABMdontplaythat), the social awkwardness that comes and goes based on Hope’s anxiety level, and the triage of social decisions that soon to be 13 year-olds must make on any number of absurd data points like…was Jenny’s lip gloss popping during English class yesterday or did Watermelandria (This Hope’s and my favorite imaginary ratchet name right now) really tell Christian that she thought his shoe laces where tied sexily for an almost 8th grader?

I can’t with middle school social dramas overlaying social anxiety surrounding her adoption story (which she chooses to tell or not at her own discretion). All I know is that these little somebodies needs to show up with a dang card at the bowling alley, and they better ready be to throw some balls, eat some pizza and shovel some cake.

The thought that no one might show scares me to death. It scares me because it will crush her. It scares me because I will pay for that bruising for who knows how long.

Praying that these girls and their parents make my girl’s day tomorrow simply by showing up.


About AdoptiveBlackMom

I'm a single Black professional woman living in the DC area. I adopted my now adult daughter in 2014, and this blog chronicles my journey. Feel free to contact me at, on Facebook at Adoptive Black Mom, and on Twitter @adoptiveblkmom. ©, 2013-2022. All rights reserved. (Don't copy my ish without credit!) View all posts by AdoptiveBlackMom

8 responses to “Birthday Anxiety

  • polwygle

    Aww! Happy Birthday, Hope!

    PS I hope you were able to confirm with some of the parents last night.

  • Mimi

    Hey, it only takes two to make a thing go right! So I hope that Hope and her friend had an awesome time.

    About this making fun of Hope because she is adopted at school…this is a thing? I guess at that age, they look for any way to other folks.

  • puddin85

    Ughhhhh……and this is why I have this ball in my stomach. You can’t look at you guys and KNOW she’s adopted and she’s still getting drama?? I don’t know what my adopted siblings are going to do when the middle school drama begins. I will be on somebody’s plane heading straight to the school from the airport. Let’s get em, ABM!!

    On another note, I hollered out loud at the ghetto ratchet name. Done!

  • LB

    Hope birthday party went well. I am rooting for you two like I’ve know you for my entire life!!! Thank you for such beautiful, honest, informative writings on family, adoption s, and love,

  • LB

    Yikes did not think comment would show my name. Although I mean every word of my comment : ). Don’t want my name showing!

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