I Hope – Part 3

I hope:

• That the universe takes care of the kids who exploit Hope’s (and kids like Hope) vulnerabilities.
• That we can continue filling the holes in her life.
• That I can find more empathy in engaging Hope’s extended bio-family.
• That I can get through some more parenting books, taking what I need, discarding what I think is dumb ish.
• That relationships in my life which have been strained during this process are restored.
• That my circle of adoption champions continues to grow.
• That I concretely learn the difference between what Hope can really handle and what she’s just lazy about, ie what’s really trauma related vs. what’s just typical teen related crap.
• That somehow we can reconcile the past, present and future.
• That we continue to reflect on this journey.
• That I can get my eyebrows done more often so that my brow lady doesn’t shame me and chastise me about my brow and pedicure related neglectfulness (Really, who gets shamed at the nail salon? Totally kinda bummed #TreatYoSelf night, smh Yeah, I’m bitter.).
• That I do better at turning to exercise rather than food for stress management.
• That I free myself from crazy parenting expectations.
• That I feel freed from the perceived critical eyes that see me and Hope strangely because of all that’s going on beneath the surface of our lives.
• That Hope excels in the percussion classes because I secretly (I guess not so secretly) have dreams of riding in the back of her tour bus during my retirement.
• That one day I’ll go visit Cordoba, Spain to see this mosque that I saw in a picture during an art history class 20 years ago.
• That I hug Hope more, touching heals.
• That we are ready for me to resume my job’s travel requirements—we’ve got the reinforcements and next week kicks it off.
• That God grants me more oodles of patience in navigating the black and white world view of the teenager.
• That I continue to be able to meaningfully answer Hope’s questions about Ray and Janay Rice and Adrian Peterson, while holding it together as she reminisces about her life.
• That Hope continues to learn that there’s a whole world out there for her to live, breathe and experience.