We Need to Talk about That Draft

So, it’s not surprising to me that Roe is on the brink of being overturned. Conservatives have been on this march for a long time. The Senate Turtle was delighted to prevent Merritt Garland from getting a hearing while practically running a sprint to fill RBG’s seat.

Never mind that BIPOC women, and especially Black women, tried to tell y’all…repeatedly.

Now WW are out here dressing as handmaidens and chastising BIPOC women for not running to their rescue in droves. Ladies, we been here. Been voting for errbody’s interests consistently and holding it down. *Now y’all want to step into leadership.*

This is that allyship for suckers.

I’ve lowkey been withdrawing, talking to elders, subbing indigenous folks’ social media as they drop contraception and abortion knowledge. I’m not out here marching; I’m trying to learn the old ways of helping women retain their autonomy.

But I digress.

The draft. So, there’s a footnote in the draft that makes reference to 2008 adoption data by the Centers for Disease Control. The footnote basically stated that the number of children relinquished at or soon after birth was practically none. It didn’t take the internet many steps to interpret this as a supply/demand issue in which outlawing abortion could result in more babies to meet the unmet need.

Sigh…Yeah, I know, but the background isn’t quite done.

Fact-checkers have dismissed this interpretation as false. Rather, they argue, the footnote suggests that fetuses that are subsequently relinquished at birth will find homes because of the presently low numbers of available children.

Say what now? A tedious, semantic difference with little distinction to me. Make it make sense, y’all.

I recognize the irony of saying this as an AP, but work with me here…We are not entitled to other people’s children. Full Stop.

All children deserve to be planned, welcomed, desired, loved, etc, etc, etc. Yes, even unplanned birthed children.

There are almost a half million children in foster care who would love to either return home or join a loving permanent home. They are here. They breathe now. They have needs right now. They need us, right this minute. And as they live and breathe, they have rights. Those would be one-day siblings, in utero, do not. Full Stop.

Yet, there are folks out here who believe the first moments are not to be in the embrace of the person who carried them, but a family who is foreign to the child. That new family can be beautiful, loving, etc etc, but that separation from the start is…whew. Sure for many adoptees it works, but for many others, it begins a life of questions that may or may not be answered.

Socially, are we cool with that? Are we ok with forcing women to physically go through the rigors of pregnancy, childbirth, and the loss for both folks with uteruses and the subsequent children born because 5 people on the court are…”originalists?” I mean, I was only 3/5 when I did get a shout-out, so if we’re going back…Or are we just picking and choosing stuff?

It’s never been a secret that I’m pro-choice. I won’t apologize for ending a pregnancy with someone who was emotionally abusive. Years later when I saw my former partner, he was in rehab trying to get off drugs. Miss me with any lectures about my choice. No regrets and would do it again in a minute. If that meant I needed to cross state lines or hop a flight, I would do it without hesitation. Everybody can kiss my grits too.

I respect how folks feel about the issue; it is a deeply personal issue. For many, it is a spiritual issue as well (even though the Holy Homeboy doesn’t drop any verses on it), but all of that stops an inch from my nose. You don’t get to decide what I do inside my temple. It’s my temple, not yours and not the community’s.

I should’ve known adoption would come up in a very loud way as we make our way to this decision, but ugh. I hate it here.

There’s so much more I could gripe about, but WW and this adoption narrative vex my spirit something terrible.


About AdoptiveBlackMom

I'm a single Black professional woman living in the DC area. I adopted my now adult daughter in 2014, and this blog chronicles my journey. Feel free to contact me at adoptiveblackmom@gmail.com, on Facebook at Adoptive Black Mom, and on Twitter @adoptiveblkmom. ©www.AdoptiveBlackMom.com, 2013-2022. All rights reserved. (Don't copy my ish without credit!) View all posts by AdoptiveBlackMom

6 responses to “We Need to Talk about That Draft

  • rose

    I have more rights to control my body as a corpse than a fertile woman has to control hers. Nuff said right there.
    Thank you.
    No one ought to be forced to birth or to abort and no one ought to be forced to carry non-viable tissue that will cause sepsis and death when modern medicine can remove it safely. I OUGHT TO HAVE THE RIGHT TO FIRST WORLD MODERN MEDICINE IN THIS COUNTRY and to be respected and accorded full privacy to make my own decisions about my body with full complete support from modern medicine…. as should all breathing humans in this nation.
    The amount of appalling lack of knowledge about pregnancy and women’s bodies that is being displayed by people making these sweeping decisions….
    Stay healthy, be safe, hope the end of this school session brings you some stress relief and renewal. Support and hugs

  • SH

    Yep, been rolling my eyes at all the WW tears about the Handmaid’s Tale.

    As someone who wouldn’t have had the choice due to my abusive father and/or my abusuve brother who s/xually abused me… (despite being privileged to live in a nation where there is no legal requirement for parental consent for minors) *shudders*

  • Beth

    I think there is a great frustration out there in people who want to adopt, that has built in recent years. There used to be lots of healthy newborn babies available for adoption, but now that women have other choices (both abortion, and parenting), that all changed. So then for years international adoption was the new answer – thousands of babies and toddlers from overseas, every year. And then in the past 15 years, that option pretty much went away too. For a lot of reasons, mostly as far as I can tell because they started holding the industry to actual ethical standards. And now people who want to adopt only have one option left, really, which is adopting those kids in foster care who actually need homes. And those kids aren’t really what most of the would-be adoptive parents have in mind. They want that little baby who they imagine they can “mold” from the beginning. Not a child who can talk back, remember their birth family, and have complicated feelings and needs.

    Think of all those many many families who adopted newborns in the 50s and 60s, and who adopted young kids from all over the world in the 90s and 00s. That demand and desire didn’t go away just because the babies are no longer there to adopt. There are a lot of people who want babies to adopt and don’t understand why they can’t somewhere, somehow, get what they want for money. I think there are a lot of people who are pissed that they can’t force poor or desperate women to provide those babies to them anymore.

    I do think the main agenda item they have is controlling and punishing women, but I also think part of the motivation is to provide those babies that so many people want and think they should be entitled to.

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