Day One

Our first evening together started with the long hug I needed as she came off the plane.

Soon Hope and I were on our way to get carry out and to head home.  She loved her room, and I thought she might cry.  She wrote out her full name-to-be (her existing full name with my last name added to the end) on her chalk wall decal.  Then I thought I might cry.   She spontaneously gave me a hug, and it was so very, very lovely.

She spent about 2 hours in her room watching a little TV (realizing that she doesn’t have a cable box and is left to survive with basic) and playing a little candy crush on my tablet.  I haven’t told her that I’ll be giving her the tablet at some point, but I’ve set up my new one to remotely limit the time on the one she will use.  She booze shamed me (LOL) when she asked if the wine in the wine rack in the kitchen came with the house.  After a hearty moment of internal laughter because I have no earthly idea how many bottles of wine have met their end in this house during my 13 years here, I simply replied, nope, just restocked this week.

The Furry One finds her presence curious and mainly hopes that she will be a new opportunity for table food.  I hope his expectations of her grow with time, but he’s such an opportunist.  He’s trying to figure out his new pack status. Heck, I’m trying to figure out my new pack status.

She told me how her issues with grief and loss came to be over dinner, and my heart broke.  There really are some awful people in the world.  I’m guessing she trusts me; she’s increasingly transparent about her history.  I’m careful not to overreact, but I do try to validate her experiences and her feelings.

She resisted taking off her coat or her shoes, despite being here all evening.   Her anxiety is lessening, but it’s there.   She went straight from fully clothed with her coat on to her PJs.  She wrote our schedule for tomorrow on the chalkboard and snuggled in to read in her room.

I’m exhausted.  The build up to her arrival and the actual arrival has just whipped me.  I just want to get in the bed and crash.  I’ll probably be up early to do an exercise video in the living room, especially since breakfast is at IHOP tomorrow.

I’m tired, but I’m also so in love with Hope.   I’m so glad she’s here.   I just love her so much.