Just Hours Now

She’s on a plane.   She’s almost here.  Just two hours from now, I’ll be on the public side of security at the airport, trying to hold back excited tears, waiting for my daughter to emerge so I can hug her and bring her home.

We haven’t talked much the last couple of days because the late nights caught up with me.   I’ve been hustling with final prep.  I’ve been exhausted, so by the time she calls, I’m delirious. 

One of my besties asked me if I was nervous this morning.  I’m not.  I’m anxious as all get out, but I’m not nervous and I’m not scared.  I am so happy to step into this next chapter, into being Hope’s mom. 

Last night I tackled tidying the most junky closet in the house.  I tossed a bunch of stuff; the need to make room for more of Hope’s stuff has emotionally freed me to dump a bunch of crap I swore I needed to keep for nearly two decades.  I thought I’d also dump a bunch of middle and high school stuff that my parents boxed up and sent to my house nearly 13 years ago. 

Well, then I opened the boxes and started flipping through the memory books.  I laughed.  I cried.  Gosh did I laugh.  Homecoming and prom pictures, handwritten letters, career and life predictions.  Gas was $1.10 about 20 years ago! 

In the end I kept the mementos because I hope to share them with Hope as we continue to get to know each other.  There’s stuff in there that covers so much of my teen life; I think she will get a kick out of it, but it will also be a reality check in some ways.  There are journals and letters and declarations of love and everything captures just so, so much drama.  It’s good stuff.

I’m so ready to be a mom.  I ready to be Hope’s mom. 

Off to the airport!