Facebook Make Up Sessions

“…my life ruined right about now i wish i would have just stayed in washington i hate it here right now.”

Oy.

I didn’t even have to go into her Facebook account to sniff around like I normally do; she posted this as a comment on a photo, in a confab she was having with a FB friend.  I’ve set up our accounts that her posts always show up in my feed.

I was so sad to read that she was sad.  That said I also know when she posted it we had just locked horns badly because she threatened the Furry One.

Hope’s been on a quest to use The Furry One as a test of my loyalty to her.  She’s insisted that he is trying to bite her and that he doesn’t like her.  It makes her sad that he doesn’t want to sleep with her and that if given a choice, The Furry One is content right under one of my butt cheeks.  I’ve had him since he was 8 weeks old and he’s been my constant companion for 14 years. Of course he wants me.  He’s my first furry born.

They are both demanding of my time and both very jealous of the other, but Buddha does show affection towards Hope and the dog doesn’t bite.  He never has.  And now that he’s the equivalent of 98 in people years, he’s really just not about that vicious life.

We had a confrontation about her lying about Buddha, so then she threatened him.

And I went off.

Animal abuse and cruelty was at the top of my non-negotiable list, so when she threatened him I did not react well at all.   It doesn’t help that my resistance is low later in the day because I’m tired.  Make that utterly exhausted.

So I took a timeout—these are becoming routine in our home now.  I’m usually the one in timeout and I explain why, usually because I know that I’m too upset to have a productive interaction or I realize that I’m feeding into the ODD behaviors.  I just have to step away.

She eventually sought me out and we spent our time together before bed.  We’re cool.

Then I saw her FB post that was made while I was in timeout.

So, I inboxed my kid after she went to bed.

“Saw a post that you felt like your life was ruined here and that you hate it here right now. I know you wrote that after I was so angry about you accusing [The Furry One] of trying to bite you when we both agree now that he didn’t.  I’m sorry.  I am learning how to be a mom, and it’s harder than I thought. I am trying really hard, though. Sometimes I will do better than other times. Please know that even when I’m mad, I love you so very much. More than you’ll ever know. I think in time we will be just fine.”

“ps: [The Furry One] loves you and so do i.

“pps: I’m glad you like your school”

I didn’t say anything about it when she got up this morning.  I knew she would see it when she finally logged on.   Her response?

“Really mom?”

Along with this “sticker:”

eyeroll

Yeah, we’re cool again.   For now.

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About AdoptiveBlackMom

I'm a single Black professional woman living in the DC area. I adopted tween a few years ago, and this blog chronicles our journey. Feel free to contact me at adoptiveblackmom@gmail.com, on Facebook at Adoptive Black Mom, and on Twitter @adoptiveblkmom. ©www.AdoptiveBlackMom.com, 2013-2016. All rights reserved. (Don't copy my ish without credit!) View all posts by AdoptiveBlackMom

3 responses to “Facebook Make Up Sessions

  • AdoptiveNYMomma

    Good job taking a time out. Glad things are patched up.

  • Desert Rose

    Well I’ve been a mom for 15 years and I’m “still learning to be a mom, it’s harder than I thought and I’m trying really hard” – so no worries. There is no magic point when it clicks, it’s a work in progress for all of us and the child changes (and we change). You’re doing a great job! 🙂 🙂 I also use facebook to communicate with my girl, it’s a good way to check in. Ditto for texting, we do that in the house sometimes. 🙂

  • thosefourlittlewords

    Hang in there – you’re doing awesome!

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