The Wins

Each week has ups and downs, but this week I’m choosing to focus on the ups, the wins. We had a few that I can celebrate and that I can acknowledge taught me somethings.

The plastic snack container and lidded trash can resulted in no stolen/hoarded food and no wrappers in Yappy’s lair. Thank you to commenters on last week’s post for that recommendation! Of course, Hope crushed, like, $30 worth of snacks in like 3 days. I will refill it today for the week, but oy, I’m hopeful that this will help us move past issues with her and food and the issue with Yappy.

Hope is majorly crushing on a boy I think might be actually worth the crush, and she is working really hard to break her pattern of chasing her crush down like a lion/gazelle interaction on the Serengeti. I’m proud of her restraint, especially since she’s really down on herself and what she thinks not having a boyfriend says about her. You really could *not* pay me to be a teenager again; it totally seems to suck arse.

Hope is starting to be able to better distinguish between friends and associates (aka—people you know and occasionally hang with who aren’t really friends). It’s a hard lesson, really painful, but she seems to be trying to develop an inner circle of real friends. Band is helping with this a lot. I pray that it sticks. The sooner she develops that inner circle and has a robust group of close friends, the sooner I can reconnect with some of my own friends. Some relationships have really began neglected.

And speaking of band, Hope’s fine band director (aka Band Bae) told me to call him by his first name. Yowza.v#HeyBooHey But, no worries, Elihu is still my bottom bae. I love he and believe him to be the yin to my yang! (But Band Bae makes this whole band lifestyle more….entertaining to watch at least.)

After complaining for nearly 4 weeks I finally took Hope to see about her bummed hip. A suspected stress fracture turned out to be just an absurdly overworked group of muscles.

The family physician and physician assistant both lectured Hope on the importance of exercise and the need to work on her flexibility. I humble bragged that I can put my hands flat on the floor without bending my knees because I’m petty and wanted to rub in my workout prowess. Truth is, that I look forward to working out with Hope when the muscles heal up.

My commitment to keeping my fitbit numbers up and trying to stay limber has resulted in my now fitting into a jumpsuit that was unzippable and, um, camel-toed (apologies for the imagery, but this is #realtalk), this spring. Just the motivation I needed to keep working out. I still eat and drink what I want, but the more I work out the better I tend to eat—don’t want to really undo all that work, right?? I’m about that self-care life. I also treated myself to a new Nalgene 32ox bottle and have been chugging water; now I’ve got skin on fleek, as the kiddos say.

After realizing that my afro was beginning to look a bit too much like Cornel West’s and that my barber had relocated, I hit YouTube and an hour later had a nice tidy shape up that made me proud. #Igotskillz

I love teachers, I do, but Hope’s teachers didn’t post info about their supply list before school, but have like $100 worth of stuff that they specifically want for their classes after school has started. This means that the notebook that was .75 last weekend is $3.99 this weekend. And why does the math teacher need a pack of AAA batteries??? And a new fancy ruler??? Really? Ohhh, and don’t forget the $160 graphing calculator!

I think I have found an English tutor for Hope! She missed so much school while moving around in foster care that she missed really foundational grammar and sentence structure stuff. I’ve been concerned that these gaps won’t be masked anymore while in 9th grade honors English. Now, just trying to convince Hope that this is designed to help and is not a commentary on her intelligence. The former foster kid ego is so very fragile. Getting help for her can be such a challenge because she takes it so very personally. Sigh.

Participating in marching band makes Hope tired. I mean like exhausted. For the second week in a row, on a Friday night, she is ready to go to bed earlier than any other night all week. She is kissing me good night at 10pm or so. It’s shocking. It’s also blessedly merciful.

So, it was a good week for the first week back to school. I think that things will smooth over as time goes on. I’m hopeful for more wins.


About AdoptiveBlackMom

I'm a single Black professional woman living in the DC area. I adopted my now adult daughter in 2014, and this blog chronicles my journey. Feel free to contact me at, on Facebook at Adoptive Black Mom, and on Twitter @adoptiveblkmom. ©, 2013-2022. All rights reserved. (Don't copy my ish without credit!) View all posts by AdoptiveBlackMom

3 responses to “The Wins

  • Deborah the Closet Monster

    You really could *not* pay me to be a teenager again; it totally seems to suck arse.

    Seconding this! I just read through a bunch of entries I wrote as a teenager and felt very, very glad to be 36.

  • thebeautifulopportunity

    Love all activities that wear kids out and make them want to go to bed early. Can we say #bingeTV4mom?

  • TheChroniclesofaNonBellyMama

    The freaking school list! I almost had it out with Mary’s new teacher. I get the composition note books and the folders, scissors and crayons/markers. But why does she need 3 packs of 24 crayons, 2 packs of markers, 2 pairs of scissors, 2 packs of plain white printer paper, 3 pack roll of paper towels, 3 large boxes of tissues, 2 containers of Clorox wipes, and basically MAD multiples of everything?! Am I supplying my child, or the whole damn second grade! So we sent one of everything…the teacher sent a note back saying we had to have everything back by Friday. Callie literally had to rip the phone out of my hand before I let him have it! So I sent a nice note saying that I refuse to supply the entire class. If and when my child runs out of all of the original things I sent, then I will be more than happy to send in a replacement. And if they wanted parents to contribute to classroom supplies they could have just asked and didn’t have to disguise it in a supply list. Callie took the note out of her bag…hahah! She said, if there were any issues he would send something back, but he didn’t! School lists are ridiculous! I feel you so hard on that!

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