So, Hope is off at college. When I think about it, it’s pretty mind blowing. When I started this journey, of course I wanted my eventual son or daughter to go to college. Once Hope entered my life, I quickly realized that there were certainly way more realistic goals to have. College became a far away, almost abstract concept. I was hopeful, and I did whatever I could to still get her to college.
And I got a lot of feedback along the way.
“Maybe college isn’t for her.”
“It’s not for everyone.”
“She can have a good life without going to college.”
All of the feedback was true, but it didn’t get to the central issues about why I, ABM, was committed to getting her as close to college as I could—even if it was delayed.
Education is very much a central part of my own identity. It is one pathway to more choices, and I believe that choices lead to greater freedom. I want more than anything for Hope to feel free. Education, college, is a pathway to that.
So, fast forward 4 years to the end of Hope’s junior year of high school. We had long talks and agreed that she would start out at the local community college and work towards transferring to a 4 year school at a later date.
Then came the summer program, which also saw Hope do really well academically. That was followed by a year at the boarding school, where she still struggled academically, but had a lot more support.
That school required applications to 3 colleges. Hope ended up applying to 5. By the time it was over, we visited 3, 4 including the community college, aced her placement exam and fell in love with a small liberal arts college in the mountains of VA.
I get a little emotional when I think about the changes she has gone through this year. Last week as we were talking about the big move, I asked her what she thought this next year would bring given how this year took us in a completely different direction that we planned. She shrugged and smiled.
I imagine that next summer, Hope could be on the other side of world, living her dream in an Asian country soaking up the culture, the food and the language.
In the meantime, I’m reveling in the fact that my beautiful brown girl is a campus coed, a new Wildcat and finding her way in the world.
Here are some highlights from our journey this week, just in case you don’t follow my FB page (which you totally should)!
Totally turns out that we “weren’t” that family. We ended up being modest, as best. Someone even called Hope’s stuff “streamlined.” Kids bring a helluva lot of stuff to college with them.
One of the most disturbing revelations of the trip. I’m still so horribly embarrassed.
The roommate had a beanbag chair, so Hope needed a beanbag chair.
A rare Hope sighting! BTW, she’s still taking questions for Ask Hope! <<—Click the link to drop us an email!
I’ve already had to send her a package since she managed to forget her wallet in the car and flip flops. I also sent a few of those ultrasonic pest repellent doodads.
August 18th, 2019 at 7:22 pm
So proud and happy for you both. Hope it all works out really well and that you two are able to be in close, but not too close, touch. Am certain there is now lots for you to do at home but most of all keep breathing and being good to both of you. While she has been away at school before this really is a huge change. Tremendous applause for both of you!
September 1st, 2019 at 3:40 pm
Yay! Good job mama! I have followed your blog for the last few of years. I found it once I started my own adoption (via foster care) journey. Your blog has been a tremendous help to me, and one of the few that are also from my perspective, a single mom of color. It has been wonderful to read about your family’s journey and I look forward to reading about this next chapter for you and Hope!
I recently started my own blog as my daughter and I just “celebrated” our first year together. Thank you for being such a wonderful resource.
September 1st, 2019 at 4:32 pm