Tag Archives: mom


Hope and I are having great conversations about our day to day lives and how we will meld them.  We talk about math class (she hates it); boys and this goal she has of having a boyfriend before she moves (Jesus please be a fence, amen) and what she wants to do during her visit.  Conversations are getting so much easier; we are both finding a rhythm for this relationship and we’re enjoying describing our family of four—that’s right, four.

1) ABM

2) Hope

3) The Furry One

4) The Hermit Crab, pending name: Beyonce.

Hope gets testy when I don’t include Bey-crab.

Yes, she’s naming the crab Beyonce.

Anyhoo, as we were about to end our call last night, she says she told one of her friends that I’m her mom.  The friend replied no, she’s not.  Hope declared yes, ABM is my mom.

Is this really happening because I need this joy in my life right now?!?

She went on to describe this back and forth that included a revelation that her friend is also waiting to find a forever home and Hope’s conclusion that said friend is jealous.  We had a chat about not teasing and about how to be supportive and compassionate.  Then she turned the conversation and said,

“So what do you think about what I said?”

“About….?” I wanted to be sure I was following because sometimes she’s all over the place.

“About telling them you’re my mom and how they said you weren’t.”

“Oh.  I am so TOTALLY your mom!”

“Yeah you are!”  Then she broke out into a fit of delightful giggles and I could hear her smiling.

I think she will call me mom soon, but you know what, it’s ok if she doesn’t.  The fact that she thinks I’m her mom, knows I’m her mom, tells people I’m her mom is good enough for me.


It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane…No it’s Hope!

I arrived minutes before she did.  I had barely taken a seat on the oversized sofa, when she came in.  She had on a hoodie with the hood pulled low.  She peeped out and slid the hood back and slowly smiled.  I saw tears in her eyes and I started to tear up.  I said hello and asked if I could hug her.  She stretched her arms, and I stretched mine.

That hug was like finding a piece of me that I never knew I was supposed to have but being so happy that I found it.

We both admitted to being nervous, especially with everyone standing/sitting around grinning at us and watching every little first that we had.  We made plans, and the team said, why don’t you take her tonight?  A day early?

Oh yeah!

We picked up a weekend bag for her; picked up a few grocery snacks, got a takeout pizza and a red box movie.  The movie sucked but we had a nice low key first evening.

I gave her some yummy smelling things from Bath and Body Works and as I draft this blog post I think I’ve heard her spritz her new body spray no less than 28 times.  She just denied it.  The whole hotel suite smells like Moonlit Path, and all I can do is sit here, grin and pop some more allergy meds.

I’ve learned a lot about my daughter today.  She frets about money in ways that seem like she’s never had any financial security.  She misses her father, but thinks he would be happy about this adoption.  She has too many friends who are also waiting for forever families.  She likes green apples, green grapes and hates blue cheese unless it is paired with contrasting flavors.  She has a palate that is eager to be expanded.

I am deliriously exhausted, barely blinking my way through Scandal, which I swore last season would be my last Gladiator chasing set of months.  Two hours of sleep last night and a cat nap on the flight.  I am tired.

But I just tucked Hope in and kissed her forehead before retiring to my sofa bed.

Yeah, super, super day.

K E Garland

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