Ahhhh, with some distractions in my life (vacation and the emergence of the bio family), I have neglected to blog about the Add Water and Stir podcast!
Yes, Mimi from ComplicatedMelodi and I made like Kool and the Gang and “got down on it” with our inaugural podcast last week. The description? BAM:
This is the inaugural episode of Add Water and Stir, a new podcast devoted to exploring adoption in communities of color. Hosts AdoptiveBlackMom (ABM) and ComplicatedMelodi (Mimi) share how they came to be adoptive parents, and they delve into how their adoption stories differ from the mainstream adoption conversation. Show highlights include receiving the child’s disclosure records, “passing” in same race adoptive families and the shade associated with parenting children of trauma.
Mimi says a write purty. She’s very kind.
Anyhoo, if you want to kill some time and check us out over the US holiday week/weekend, you can find us in these streets on YouTube:
On the podcast page:
Or at the actual podcast location for Episode 1.
We’re podcasting live every two weeks, be sure to check us out on July 10 at 10pm EST/9pm CST.
In other news…
Hope and I are vacationing in Florida this week, enjoying the joy that is humidity and messy thunderstorms. We visited the Magic Kingdom yesterday which was plagued by a massive deluge as we arrived. After shelling out a couple of hundred bucks to get in, another $20 for obnoxious ponchos I was ready to make the best of the day and make some magic happen.
Hope wanted to wallow in self-pity.
“Woe is me.” “Whenever I want to do something it never works out.” “The world is against me.” “God doesn’t like me.”
Ok, so like Michelle Obama, there’s one thing I don’t do well, and it’s this: wallowing. No ma’am. I allow moments of wallowing self-pity, but they are moments. I collect myself and move on. Hope LIVES at an emotional address called 1234 Self-Pity Street, The Universe Revolves Around Me, VA; USA. It drives me nuts and is a total buzz killer. #icant I know that so much has happened and not happened in her life that it has created this address for her, but I do not live there.
So, I told her she got one pass for wallowing, but that was it because I know the rain was disappointing. But wasn’t the end of the world. We were at Disney, dammit. Pretend to be happy, put some positive energy in the universe and live in the moment. #powerofpositivethinking #thesecret
During the next mini storm, Hope went in hard on the wallowing. And I lost my shiz. What I wasn’t fitting to do was listen to misery all day after spending a grip to get here when we could still have a good time. I read her the riot act about killing the vibe, refusing to have fun and getting on an emotional plane back to Self-Pity Street.
I also threatened to leave. Oh, but I did. I threatened to pull the plug on that giant mouse trap and didn’t blink about it either.
Now if you’ve never been to Disney World, you should know that it’s incredibly hard to stalk off in a huff after threatening to leave when you need to walk a mile to the monorail and then catch a tram to your parking lot. I mean you need a serious, “you pissed me off and we’re leaving” face for at least 40 minutes. But Hope also knows that while I am responsible and serious about money, I don’t fret over money that has already left my wallet, so if we needed to leave after dropping a grip to get up in Disney, then stalk on the monorail and tram I would… with a resting b*tch face I would. And there would be no stopping at any gift shops on the way out. #noearsforyou #herfacetho
Then I made like Elsa and went all Frozen for 30 minutes. I quietly went, with her in tow, to get something to eat, checked the FastPass situation for the cancelled rides, and sat on a bench while I got myself together and gave her time to get herself together to. Then we went on It’s a Small World After All. And all was again right with the world. We had a great time with no more drama. She got her ears and her dog Pluto and had a great, great time.
Negative talk is a big problem for Hope, and one that I’m constantly working on with her. It may sound harsh, but she has a flair for the dramatic so I have to go in hard with her. I’m proud of her for choosing to enjoy Disney.
In Hope’s family news, I checked in with all those family members who contacted her, let them know that their friend requests were denied, messages erased, they’ve been privacy blocked from her page and that they needed to come through me if they want to eventually have contact with Hope. I would determine when and how that would happen. So far the response has been respectful and understanding, but I can’t help not trusting them. We’ll see where things go, and I hope that one day Hope and her family will have a good relationship, but for now I’m going to keep tight reins on this situation.
Well, back to sunning myself with Hope and the friends we’re visiting. Peace out!
July 1st, 2014 at 1:24 pm
That is some amazing parenting. My mom could never get me to do that because after she yelled at me I would just get more pouty. I live in dread of this when I have kids.
Can’t Hope see her own privacy settings? Would she be upset if she went in there to block someone else and saw all these extended family listed as blocked? What a tough situation.
July 1st, 2014 at 4:51 pm
Oh, I rarely yell. I’ve found that the quiet dress down is more effective than raising my voice. Something about the deliberate monotone with clipped diction does it for Hope; she knows I’m not even playing a little bit.
Hope doesn’t tinker with program settings at all–so says my mirroring software. But it’s a legit question, to be sure. Honestly, I’m not sure what her reaction would be to see these folks blocked. Her emotional age is much younger than her chrono age though. I know I’d rather risk her fury than the emotional drama of them communicating with her with wild abandon and no supervision right now. I hope that in time I can say it will be a temporary situation.
July 4th, 2014 at 10:19 pm
Really enjoyed the podcast!! Gosh, feels like I’m catching up on so much. You made the right move with Hope’s family. “Pandora’s box” comes to mind there. You’re a great mom!!