Yesterday I said goodbye to The Furry One. My heart broke. I cried buckets. It was painless and peaceful for him; meanwhile I feel like I have a hole in my heart. I will miss him terribly. He is without question one of the great loves of my life.
As I endure the grief of losing my furry kid, my human kid Hope showed me how she was healing from her grief. She insisted on being with me as The Furry One passed away. She comforted me. She reminded me to be absent from the body is to be present with the Holy Homeboy. She described how she could imagine The Furry One fully restored, running, playing and being happy. She saw him with extended family who were already in heaven, family she’s never met before. She said, The Furry One is happy now.
It softens the blow of my grief some.
Six months ago, I’m sure she wouldn’t have been able to comfort me like she has. We are making so much progress.
And I haven’t been easy to live with this week. Knowing the day and time when The Furry One would leave us was hard for me. I have been weepy and cranky. I’ve snipped and snapped and bellowed and cried. I had a hard time just saying, “Leave me alone for a few minutes.” I was angry when she feigned illness yesterday morning and competed for my attention during The Furry One’s last hours. And while I’m sure it will come back around on me, she hugged me, she patted me on the back and sometimes she just left me alone, almost like she heard my inner thoughts.
She stepped up, and taking a minute to recognize that is important. I told her so this morning during a brief moment when I was gripping my pup’s collar tightly. I could tell she was happy for the acknowledgement.
So while grief lingers in our home heavy right now, we will be ok. Our coping skills are more developed and stronger.
And these revelations wouldn’t be made without the transition of The Furry One. Even in death he continues to make my life better. I will miss my sweet little dog and will reunite with him on the Rainbow Bridge one day.