I Marvel – Part 3

I marvel:

  • That I still sometimes take her anger personally.
  • That I haven’t duct taped the door to her room shut when it’s dirty.
  • When we cycle through dark periods; they always surprise me.
  • That Hope has embraced a sense of middle class kid entitlement so quickly <side eye>.
  • At how kind and generous she can be even as she pushes me away.
  • At how many triggers to rages and shut downs there are.
  • At how exhausted such episodes make me.
  • At how my reactions to the rages and shut downs have changed.
  • At how many times in one day I can say “I don’t know.”
  • That my reasons for saying “I don’t know “ range from not really knowing to praying the exhausting conversation ends soon.
  • At how hard single parenting can be.
  • That I appreciate the lack of need to consult on parental decision making.
  • That I can’t seem to get to bed before 11pm because I need to wind down a bit after Hope goes to bed.
  • At how all of a sudden Hope isn’t mad that I signed her up for drama activities during her free periods.
  • At how she has come to enjoy our church.
  • At how she is finally interested in going to the church youth group.
  • At how she wants to volunteer.
  • At how many food wrappers I recently found under her bed.
  • At how I still hide my special foods.
  • At how rough the transition from being a singleton to a single mom is.
  • At how different this experience is than I imagined.



About AdoptiveBlackMom

I'm a single Black professional woman living in the DC area. I adopted my now adult daughter in 2014, and this blog chronicles my journey. Feel free to contact me at adoptiveblackmom@gmail.com, on Facebook at Adoptive Black Mom, and on Twitter @adoptiveblkmom. ©www.AdoptiveBlackMom.com, 2013-2022. All rights reserved. (Don't copy my ish without credit!) View all posts by AdoptiveBlackMom

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