Earlier this week, I discovered a secret that Hope had been hiding for a couple of weeks. I’d all but told her that I knew the secret ahead of the confirmation.
I love my daughter, but the art of deception and concealment are not her strong suits. In fact, Hope has rarely lied to me; if anything she often shares a little too much with me. I chalk that up to her not having too many friends her age, and the closeness of our relationship.
Anyhoo, I knew or at least was strongly suspicious about the thing she’d tried to conceal for a couple of weeks.
The actual thing she did was super stupid and a totally dumb, yet age appropriate thing. We’d already had a chat about it a few months ago, but here we are 3.5 months later revisiting the issue.
What totally sent me over was the series of bold-faced lies that were told in a sad attempt to avoid detection.
Bless Hope’s heart. I have repeatedly told her that her mom is smarter than the average bear.
I do not do lies. I especially don’t do lies with bad liars.
And Hope is a horrible liar. It’s just not in her make up. I had point blank asked questions and had given her 3 opportunities to fess up, but instead she decided to lie.
So, after I confirmed what I knew to be true, I left her a note for when she got home from work to let her know that she was busted. I told her that the stupid issue had been attended to and that she had really stepped in IT, primarily due to the lying. And then I went to bed and slept soundly.
The next morning, I get an apology via text. I read it, but didn’t respond. I was still angry, so I only spoke when necessary and waited until we were in the car headed to visit my parents to really get into the discussion.
Parents of adolescents know: the car is sacred space and prime for important chats with kids.
There we were, on 95S talking about the stupid thing, the lies and what the consequences of both things should be. I put the task to figure out what an appropriate consequence should be on Hope.
She was baffled by this task.
Hell, I was baffled by this task, which is low key why I put it on her.
And then I dropped it, because I didn’t want it to ruin the day.
We visited with Grammy and Grandpa, had a delicious lunch and headed downtown to join some BLM protesters who have taken over the grounds of a monument to Robert E. Lee. The statue is slated to come down sometime soon, as are other confederate statues across the city. In fact, one was removed less than 24 hours after our visit. #goodriddance
After we had returned from our trip, I raised the issue of consequences again. Hope did not come up with many ideas, so I tossed a few out. We agreed on a couple of scenarios and I dropped it. In all, the consequences were minor compared to what my parents did for less, but I think they will hit her where she feels the impact of her poor decisions. I also told her that the next infraction would have stiffer penalties.
She swears she learned her lesson, but the reality is that there will be other stupid things. Hope is 19,a little immature, vulnerable to some bad influences, and eager to have connection with folks her own age—sometimes too eager.
And with stupid games, come stupid prizes. That is just a part of life, right?
We’re fine. Hope is fine, and we’ve endured another stupid first, and the stupid prizes that go with it.