Ok, I’m not even religious anymore. I used to be, but I’m not now.. I’m just kinda floating along…
But that’s not the point.
The point is that y’all had better pray for your girl Hope.
We are on ‘vacation’ this week.
Rephrase: we are on a trip this week. Although Hope is now 20, she is very much a kid. Kid+vacation=trip.
We drove down to the beach earlier today. I ended up driving because she could not get it together. At one point she kept going over the line; we had to pull over so I could take over. We stop at Grammy’s where Hope realized she forgot to pack a sweater or sweatshirt for the hotel AC. I told her should could pick up one on the beach, she whined when I told her that she could buy it on her own.
Ma’am, *you* forgot your sweater, go buy what you want. She opted to stay cold. I thought she could stay mad about wanting me to fix it for her.
After a really long travel day, I really just needed some me time. I hopped on the balcony, Hope is in hot pursuit. She NEVER did time on balconies before. NEVER. She hates bugs. Ok, no faux me time here.
I decide to take care of registering the car with the hotel and take a walk. When I returned:
They have room service!
Yeah I know…
Blank stare designed to ask without asking me to order room service.
There’s food in the fridge.
TikTok videos viewed without headphones.
Loud commentary responses to TikTok videos.
Talking to the TV show I’m watching.
I’m cold. Btw, do you tuck your toes?
Use the blanket… What?
Proceeds to tear bed apart to do her tucking. Returns to talking to TikTok.
I’m tired. I know I’m grumpy, and I know I love her, but gahdamn. We just got here and I want to choke her. OMG.
I’m hopeful the day at the beach tomorrow helps get us through. Pray y’all, Hope is a whole mess.
AdoptiveBlackMom 
July 6th, 2021 at 11:04 pm
WOW! Know you know how hard being Hope at 20 is for her. But WOW. Reminded me of what I have forgotten about raising children that age… Our brains chemistry at work erasing trauma. I do have a clear memory however of muttering a two years later “When I treat her like a good friend I am wrong I should be a Mom, when I treat her like a loving Mom I am wrong I should be a good friend. I cannot win ever!”
Being now decades on the other side of that time….. all I can say is keep hanging in. They do grow up. THEY DO BECOME WONDERFUL ADULTS (usually. no guarantees.) But keep on doing what you are doing and holding faith. It is the best option!
HUGE HUGS and support.
July 7th, 2021 at 4:55 am
Hugs and support! She’ll settle down.
I like my space, I can’t stand people of any age who listen to anything without headphones/earphones. Extra irritated if they add loud commentary that I’m clearly not interested in.
I never had such a “obnoxiously loud” stage, it was my parents and older brother who do lol. It’s weird, they 3 do it passive aggressively because none of them want to call it out.
Real miserable if I’ve a migraine.
July 8th, 2021 at 6:55 am
Sounds especially awful.
July 8th, 2021 at 9:30 am
Got to say, my younger brother seriously grew to hate my older brother since they shared a room, and older brother was also inconsiderate with lights and the windows. Coupled with body odour because he wouldn’t shower for weeks. I get he’s acting out family dysfunction but like dude… go to therapy, there’s even free/low cost counselling for depression.
My migraine frequency got a lot lower after I moved out even though the ambient noise is definitely higher in general.
July 7th, 2021 at 10:09 am
Lol – I am reading this while lying in bed in our hotel room at the beach. It’s early in the morning and I’m supposed to be asleep but I was wakened by my 13 yo daughter and her cousin watching tik tok without the headphones on. F tik tok, y’all.
July 7th, 2021 at 10:40 am
I went for a lovely 2 mile walk, got coffee, and breakfast. Sat on the balcony, scrolled socials and started to get dressed to hear down to the beach. She hemmed & hawed until I set a timer for 10 minutes till I left for the beach. Shockingly, she was ready in less than 5.
Maybe there’s hope.
July 8th, 2021 at 9:35 am
In my country, we get told “if you behave like a child, you’ll be treated like one.” It’s then demonstrated, in ways similar to what you did, and I find teenagers/young adults shape up 😯. It uses their desire for independence and links it to responsibility.