Howdy. I really did mean to write.
🤣🙂🤣 No really I did.
Anyhoo… Long-timers know that I have done my best to to have a sex positive home. I wanted to promote loving physical relationships, as opposed to things Hope was exposed to early in life. I wanted her to know that sex came with responsibilities, but also that yes it can and should feel good… And safe.
I emphasized the essentialism of practicing safe sex, always. No exceptions.
And then, she met the person I refer to as The Demon. The sheer audacity of that individual. They wreaked so much havoc in our lives. I legit hate the fact that they are in the land of the living.
I encouraged Hope to remember the things I taught her, if you feel overwhelmed, trust your gut. If you feel disrespected, that’s a data point. I begged her to stay safe, and even if you saw their test results.
I remember feeling relief that she said yep, even as my suspicions pressed the issue because you could buy fakes.
And that’s where I lost her.
From Hope’s lens, she had been a responsible young adult, and I was overacting.
I knew a Demon when I clocked one.
But she was right. I had neglected to coach on determining authenticity. Damn. Based on what she knew, I was now nitpicking, possibly even changing the rules so I would remain ‘right.’
In the long story, I now realize that I could’ve coached a bit more around the nuance of physical relationships, also more on power dynamics.
Hope and I have had countless debriefs in the years since The Demon. She wised up fast and now occasionally brags about how she schools some of her friends. It’s that early relationship with someone you make yourself like because *theylikeyou* and before you know it it’s the worst in all kinds of ways but you tell yourself
Oh but they would tho.
Would and usually did.
Anyway, my point is, if you’re like me and navigating adolescence/young adulthood while trying to stay sex positive, then peep the article below. Share it, help these kids use those search skills.
Why You Should Double-Check That S.T.I. Test https://nyti.ms/3M753xn
In other news, we’re fine. We did our first panel together discussing our attachment journey at a recent adoption conference. It was fun. I was really proud of her.
I have a newly renovated bathroom. I’m so happy. I’ve got a robot toilet and a deep soaking tub.
The new boo is holding his position strong. 😁
Yappy is a loveable pup. He’s starting to show his age a bit, but he’s still my favorite fur-dude.
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