As I close out the year, it’s hard not to do a lot of reflecting on the massive changes in my life in 2014. I know that this is a critical year in my life, one that I will look back on and think about how my life trajectory shifted.
Hope was placed with me in January.
I started seeing Elihu in early February.
By mid-February I thought everything would collapse into total disaster.
I finished writing my dissertation in the midst of the chaos.
I defended it in late March.
Hope and I seemed to really, really start settling in around April.
I graduated in May.
We finalized in June.
Mimi and I launched Add Water and Stir.
We celebrated at Disney in June/July.
Hope’s extended first family found us.
Hope and I fumbled through the summer with increasingly normal teen/mom stuff.
I lost the Furry One.
School started in September, and I started traveling.
We struggled with all kinds of things.
We excelled at all kinds of things.
Hope became less recalcitrant about new things.
I wondered that the devil I was doing with this mothering thing.
We welcomed The Yappy One.
We survived the holidays.
And now we look at our first anniversary of placement.
It’s been an exhausting and exhilarating year.
Looking forward I’m hopeful. I’m hopeful that Hope will continue to grow, to feel safe, to thrive here. I hope that I will gain a bit more confidence in this parenting game. I hope that things will continue to be good for me and E. I hope I can hang onto myself, stay healthy emotionally and physically. I hope that Hope will continue to blossom, that she will hit some of the developmental markers that still wait for her. I hope our relationship continues to grow.
I could make all kinds of predictions about 2015. Somethings I just know will happen, others are just guesses in the dark. It will be fun to see how it all comes together. There’s a lot going on and a lot to be done.
Happy New Year everyone. May 2015 bring you much peace and happiness!
AdoptiveBlackMom 