It’s weeks like this when I really have to sit back, take stock and remind myself that these problems are “normal folk” problems.
No sooner than I hit “post” on my “Hey, I’m living the dream with this whole family thing,” than we are careering into a one-sided fight.
I say one-sided because it’s increasingly clear that I’m the only one openly emoting and visibly reacting.
We still struggle with chores and motivation to do chores. Most of the month, Hope had done her chores, earned money and just relished in all that responsibility that she was displaying. And then she just stopped.
We went through this a few months ago—May to be exact. After I dramatically pulled the car over into a parking lot while I was wigging out on her, demanding to know what she couldn’t be bothered to do her chores, she told me very simply.
“I just don’t feel like it.”
Say what now?
I did not take this response well. In fact I told her that I didn’t feel like doing things like taking her places that she was supposed to go or to do things that she wanted to do, and I didn’t. Oh I was petty, and I have no shame.
Well several days of no chores meant chaos in the house; this chaos also included an infestation.
Saying I was furious…is a super understatement.
Then there were the limousine expectations re her band schedule.
Then the expectation of a new band jacket because she changed instruments.
And then…the unnecessary, dramatic and dramatically expensive medical appointment that was “out of network.”
And then I was cranky for the rest of the week. Seriously, most of this is just regular old dumb teen stuff. There *may* be tinges of adoption/trauma/childhood drama running through, but really, this is largely just dumb ish teens do.
Somehow that does not soothe my serious annoyance. It just doesn’t.
Sometimes I do wonder if when we have good blocks of time whether it prompts behavior to bring back big emotional responses from me since that’s a communication style she understands, even if she doesn’t like it. We’ve experienced that kind of self-sabotage before. It is hard to know.
And although I have gotten much better at managing my reactions to Hope’s shenanigans, she still knows what buttons to push to get a rise out of me.
Soooo, I dunno, I know it’s just an icky week. I’m glad that school starts again next week and we can get back to our routine. And I am glad that I’ve worked out hard enough to earn my evening cocktail.