A Beautiful Day

I went into Mother’s Day with some complicated feelings. I find that it helps to simply acknowledge them, make a plan and keep it moving. I’m glad I did; it made for a nice low bar that set us up for a really lovely, lovely day.

I took Yappy on a three mile walk; he was super worn out afterwards and slept most of the day as a result.

Hope and I started our day at the local UU church we’ve been attending. Rather than go hang out with the other teens, my daughter chose to sit by my side. She even wore a dress—gasp! It was flower communion, and after some gentle coaxing, she even came with me to get a blossom. I lit a candle and said a prayer for Hope’s first mother. I prayed that she was as happy and healthy and that hopefully she knows that Hope found a permanent home as is no longer without permanence. I prayed that one day a healthy reunion would be in their future.

We headed to brunch at one of our favorite restaurants. We have celebrated all major family events here—my successful dissertation defense, our finalization, and her completion of middle school, just to name a few. We both love the food choices, and I especially love the wide range of beverage offerings. She suggested we order the usual—I reminded her that it was mom’s choice and I wanted to shake things up. I have a particular fancy for fries; I ordered up truffle-Parmesan fries to start, with a yummy coffee laced, chocolaty stout for me.

I think I opened Hope’s eyes to a whole new world related to quality French fries. She raved, danced in her seat and marveled at how yummy they were. I still smile to myself about how fries made her so happy. I actually have video of her; it was awesome.

We ordered our entrees, and bickered to the enjoyment of our waitress.

I told her that I was proud to be her mother; that even in the rough times I loved her so very much. I told her that being her mom has hopefully made me a better person all together. She smiled. She thanked me for giving her a permanent home that allowed her to call a place home, allowed her to not have to start over and over, that allowed her to just have a chance. I smiled and we went back to grubbing.

Yep, I used her account to pay, because…Mother’s Day. #noshame

We headed to the bakery across the street to find something for dessert. We selected individual key lime pies with beautiful meringues to go.

We took a few hours apart. I did some shopping and hit the hookah bar for a while.

Once home, we ate our desserts, and watched TV on the couch with Yappy, who incidentally, loves when his people are together on the couch. We have a huge couch, but he loves when we are huddled up so that he can sit between us and snuggle. I love that our dog wants his family close.

She gave me her homemade Mother’s Day gifts; a beautiful friendship bracelet that I immediately put on, and a beautifully decorated sheet that required me to pull off some cotton clouds to reveal the message underneath.

It was a far more detailed expression of gratitude for adopting her, for loving her unconditionally and for giving her a good life even when she’s a pain in the butt. She apologized for not getting me something fancy, but her message reduced me to a puddle of loving tears. She complained and eventually wriggled out of the vice grip hug I enveloped her in after reading her message.

It was perfect.

I have never wanted Hope to be grateful about her adoption; I hate thinking of the things that necessitated her adoption. That said, I got her meaning—it was about us being a family, about stability, about permanence, about unconditional love, about parenting, or in our case mothering, and about normalcy.

And I am grateful for those things too.

She didn’t say thanks for being her mom; instead she thanked me for meeting her needs.  I know that meeting her needs is what I do as her mother. The language is different, but the meeting of the minds is there, and to hear that from her—I’m so proud and blessed to have been chosen for this gig.

Those moments were a beautiful capstone for the day. I could not have planned it. I could not have anticipated it.

It was a beautiful day, and I will treasure it forever.

I love you, Hope.

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About AdoptiveBlackMom

I'm a single Black professional woman living in the DC area. I adopted tween a few years ago, and this blog chronicles our journey. Feel free to contact me at adoptiveblackmom@gmail.com, on Facebook at Adoptive Black Mom, and on Twitter @adoptiveblkmom. ©www.AdoptiveBlackMom.com, 2013-2016. All rights reserved. (Don't copy my ish without credit!) View all posts by AdoptiveBlackMom

9 responses to “A Beautiful Day

  • AdoptiveNYMomma

    OMG what a wonderful story. Thank you for sharing!!! So very very happy for you and the thoughtfulness Hope had shown you.

    • HerdingChickens

      ANYM is the sweetest mom ever. I had the worst Mother’s Day and totally wallowed in my misery. She’s over here all happy for other people! Lol. Hugs, ANYM. You put me to shame! (See my Mother’s Day below!)

  • My Perfect Breakdown

    I literally have a tear in my eye, your special moments together sound nothing short of amazing and oh so special!

  • Savvy's Mom

    So beautiful! Happy Mother’s Day!

  • Snarl Furillo

    What a beautiful thing to read this Monday morning!!! I’m so glad you guys had such a wonderful day.

  • Celeste

    Ohhh so glad you had a wonderful day! Those fries sound AMAZING!! So jealous. 🙂

  • Beth

    sniff….what a great Mother’s Day. Big hugs to you both.

  • HerdingChickens

    Wow. That’s just…wow. I’m jealous. During Mother’s Day weekend the on-call therapist was here twice. My little girl vacillated between plotting my murder and screaming obscenities. Obviously not a great day around here. Then I got a coffee press. Except that I already have a Keurig and now I have to do MORE work to get my mom-fuel?! There were still piles of laundry everywhere because the house stopped while little girl tantrumed.
    So I decided to pick the music in the car that day. I chose Dr. Dre’s “Chronic.” My husband looked worriedly at the “parental advisory” label. I was like, “Hey, it’s nothing that hasn’t been said in the last few days. Let me enjoy my throwback!” Lol. The kids were stunned into silence. Also other drivers stared at me in my argyle sweater set attempting to rap along with the doctor. So there.
    #badmom #cokedonutnanny !!!!

  • Bri

    Fabulous post! Also, hooray for UU churches and flower communions ❤

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